RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Hello, Salty Dog here, hows can I fix dat broken heart?
Aww, there now little sweet cakes, don't you
cry, just whats bodderin de little girl, hummmmmmmmm, tells old Salty Dogs
all abouts it.
Oh, I's so sorry, Lit'l Angel, dats too bads dat yous losin dat sleep.
Why dats one of de biggest pasttimes in all of ferretdom, ta gets one's
naps in. How longs you's been having dis problem? NOO,
dey done puts a night lights in your rooms? Don'ts dey know dat
messes wif your life cycles? Yep, deys doin research on dat and its
leading dem to tink it plays a part in our high rate of adrenal problems, dat
and takin aways our organs before we gets to developin dem. You poor
kid you, I really feels for you. If'n you cans gets your
humans to puts a big ole heavy blankey over your cage, dat will blocks out
dat lights so your hormones won'ts gets all confused. Dats de bestest
way, unless you developes thumbs ta unscrew dat bulb. Annudder good ways
if'n you can'ts gets dere attention is to dig your ways up inta de
couch, pulls outs some of dat stuffin and leaves it layin arounds so dat
dey knows where your ats or dey'll be bouncing off de ceiling, crying
and amashing dat irritating squeeky toy til dey finds you . Nuttins
worse dan tryin to drinks your ferratone outta de bottle wif a hysterical
human holding on ta its. And den, dose dat don't tink likes us, might
locks ya in your cage ta go ta Home Depots ta buys stuff
ta blocks up de couch ta keeps you out instead of fixin you your own little
dark den ta sleeps in. A nice wraped Coke can pkg wif a little
covered hole in de end and a baby blanket inside would solve all dem problems,
fits rights into da cage, too. De darker de better, I always says,
den it don't matters who's ya foughts wif all days long, deys friends in
dere.
AAAHHH??? you wants me ta bore ya ta sleep?? Of
course, I's nots boring. Now why would you ask dat? You
read WHAT? WHERE? Oh you read on de walls of de girls'
pottybox "To Bore Yourself to Sleep, Call Salty Dog!
No, no, dats okay, no problem, I'll takes care of dis, sorry
abouts de misunderstanding dere.
GRANDMAAAAA! dem girls done chewed off de eraser on de marksalot
dey was using, ya wants me to get de Amoxy out? de PINK Amoxy! de
VERY pinkpink Amoxy! :D
